As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
