OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
