i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
