Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
