just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
