The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My ass is underappreciated
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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