the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
