I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
