so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
