she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
