you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
