im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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