Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
