oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
