the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
