they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
