I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
