Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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