im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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