we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
