All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
