I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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