i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm always down for nudity.
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