What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
