you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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