Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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