We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
