Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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