do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
