He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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