porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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