he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
