Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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