feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
