I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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