I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
