My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Everything about him screamed your future.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
