Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
