Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
