Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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