This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
