I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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