This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
