Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
