yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
