she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
