Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
