i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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