My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Randomize
