don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
